The Magnificent Seven (Ways to be More Polite)
August 2018
All of the great religions have the Golden Rule somewhere in their teachings - “Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself” or something similar. I cannot improve on that sentence. However, as I wander about the planet I see that some people seem to have difficulty putting that lofty ideal into practice.
I include myself in this and have probably been guilty of all the acts listed below at one time or another. It is often the case though that people learn better when given concrete examples of what to do or how something operates and that is what I would like to put forward in this article – examples on how to be more considerate. I am not putting myself up as a saintly figure – people who know me know that I am not.
This list mainly concerns some of my personal pet hates. No doubt you will have your own things that you find it irritating and/or time-wasting. Feel free to write a similar list. In the meantime, sit down, strap in and here we go: -
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Supermarket checkout queues. When you are in a supermarket then have a thought for others behind you in the queue and get your money/credit card ready, so you can pay the bill when the assistant asks you. I have lost count of the number of people who are unable to do this or think it through. Not once when I have been in a supermarket has the assistant beeped my last item and then said, “No charge today, off you go”. They always ask for the money so please get it ready. Don’t wait until the assistant asks before you start searching your pockets for your wallet or rifling through your bag for your purse. Just have your money/card ready in time.
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“Don’t stand in the doorway, don’t block up the hall”. Dylan fans may recognise that line. This can apply to people in cities and on platforms on tube/train lines, but also to anyone in a street or standing near a doorway. Don’t stand in people’s way. If you are near a doorway then move a few feet to the left or right and people can get past you. If there is a group of you then stand in a line against a wall rather than hog the whole pavement. It is really easy to do.
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Getting on and off tubes, trains and buses. It is always better to let someone off a bus, train or tube before you try to get on. Why? Well, a) it is polite (I have to say that as I am writing this article) and b) there is usually more room outside than inside, so it is easier for you to step aside and let someone off than it is for someone getting off to give you room to get on and c) it is better for you – you will find that once they are off the train/bus/tube then there is more room for you to get on.
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Using stairs. I see people walking in the middle of public stair ways blocking people who want to overtake them or making people move around them who are descending the stairs. Walk up or down one side – by the wall or use the handrail - and don’t get in other people’s way.
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The “social shuffle dance”. Have you ever come to a doorway or narrow passage and met someone coming through at the same time? You move to your left to let the person pass and they simultaneously move to their right to let you pass. So, you move to your right to let them pass and they’ve had the same idea and simultaneously moved to their left and you end up doing a little shuffling dance. Take a tip from the King of Cool, James Bond. In one of his films Bond does this little dance with a beautiful lady at a doorway. Bond cut the dance short by casually stepping to one side and gesturing with one hand for the lady to walk through. She thanked him, walked through and he looked cool. I have often done this - not with beautiful women – but if you gesture with your hand that the person should go to the left (or right – it doesn’t matter) then they do this. It’s not a big thing, but it helps you avoid the “dance”.
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Letting people get off trains and buses. Have you ever seen someone sitting on an aisle seat and the person seated at the window next to them says “Excuse me can I get off, please?”. Often the aisle person stands up, moves into the aisle and then stands between the window person and the train/bus exit so that the window person must move around them a 2nd time to get off? If someone wants to get past you to get off then stand up and make sure you are not between them and the exit.
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And finally – be polite. On 8 December 1941, the United Kingdom declared war on the Empire of Japan, following the Japanese attacks on Malaya, Singapore and Hong Kong. Winston Churchill wrote the Declaration of War letter which was later criticized for its formality and civilized tone. His reply was “Some people did not like this ceremonial style. But after all when you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite”. So, I say “Be more polite”. If you ask someone for the time or for a direction then say, “Excuse me”, “Please” and “Thank you”. It costs nothing but can often be repaid with a smile.
If you like this little piece, have found it useful, thought provoking or know someone who might benefit from it then please pass it on. Of itself this list will not make everything hunky-dory in the world. However, I do believe that a little politeness to others goes a long way and to quote a famous supermarket chain – “every little helps” – so maybe if more people were more polite and considerate in their own small ways then the world collectively would be a better place.
